Just when you thought it was safe to hang up your satin flares, wipe off your mascara, put away your yellowing set of Jim Allen novels and squeeze your authentically-scratched version of "Come Up and See Me (Make Me Smile)" back into the tightly-packed, glam-rock section of your record collection, along comes The Full Monty soundtrack featuring all those not-quite-so- young dudes. But, whatever you do, don't mention the classic hit single, one of the 20 most-played tunes of all time, to Harley. Although "that song" - he almost spits out the words - has made him rich beyond his wildest dreams, he hates being seen as a one-hit wonder. Even worse, he hates lazy journalists rehashing the obligatory "What ever happened to?" features whenever "Make Me Smile" - whoops, I mentioned it - is rediscovered by a new generation of glammed-up glitterati. "Look, I loathe being referred to as a Seventies rock star and being talked about in the past tense," he warns "If someone says I was their idol - that's no good to me. The person they're talking about is a former incarnation."It is true that, in a previous life, he was a hell-raising, drug-taking, wild-oats-sowing Mr Soft (the title of an earlier, not-so-classic hit single). But, to the residents of a quiet village on the Essex-Suffolk border, he is the family-loving, God-fearing, Bible-preaching Mr Nice (his real name).
For many years the villagers didn't realise, or didn't let on, that the intense, middle-aged chap who read the lesson every week was Big In The Seventies, which suited him down to the ground; being "a very private man" he relished the anonymity.Balding, bespectacled, afflicted by a limp - the legacy of a childhood polio attack - he remains fiercely protective of his personal space At one point in the interview the doorbell rings. Three times sharp leg cutters found the outside edge, accounting for Atherton and Stewart.Stewart's was a particularly pleasing strike as, four balls earlier in the same over, Walsh had been mortified that Hooper should miss a straightforward catch at slip. A leg spinner, such as the Trinidadian Dinanath Ramnarine who bowled impressively against England in the territorial match, would have far more effective in association with the off-spinner Carl Hooper.It was not until after lunch - with the match almost past the point of winning - that the West Indies showed a real sense of purpose and Lara indulged in the imaginative strategy on which his reputation as captain has been founded.His alternate use of Ambrose and Walsh in one-over spells from the pavilion end meant he could use his two best bowlers at the same time while Hooper posed his particular problem at the opposite end.The squeeze was back on England and the indefatigable Walsh, no stranger to such crises, suddenly started to make the ball jag away. This surface has been very similar to that used in last year's drawn Test with India when the opener, Navjot Sidhu, ground out his 11-hours double hundred. The West Indies batted 131 overs in their second innings to comfortably save the match and only 16 wickets fell over the five days.In such conditions the sameness of the West Indies attack is exposed Kenny Benjamin and Nixon McLean were virtually redundant.
England's spirit would have been lifted by this show of timidity.It is an attitude that has frequently permeated West Indian ranks of late whenever pitches are as slow and unresponsive as this had become under the influence of the heavy roller between innings and once the early moisture had been drawn by three days of dry season heat.It is a feature of Queen's Park that pitches get easier for batting as the match progresses. They had bowled England out for 145 only two days earlier and had completed their victory in the second Test only the previous Monday. It reflected a strange self-doubt of a team that enjoyed a definite actual and psychological advantage. BLSP at 5.38pm.Stewart's 50: 183 min, 142 balls, 6 fours.Umpires: D B Hair and E Nicholls.TV Replay Umpire: C E Cumberbatch.Match Referee: B N Jarman.. Instead the field was spread from the first ball as if it had been the opening afternoon and the batting side was entrenched at 200 for 3.Under no pressure Mike Atherton and Alec Stewart laid a match-winning foundation with their opening stand of 129.The same situation persisted through yesterday morning's session. Brian Lara's field settings on the third afternoon, and the lack of intensity of Curtly Ambrose and Courtney Walsh during that critical period, were utterly uncharacteristic of the West Indies. With an hour and a half available and England requiring the highest total of the match to win, the understandable expectation was for Ambrose and partner to charge in with malice aforethought as they did so famously four years ago when England were blown away for their ignominious 46. AS YET another of the many dramas that the Queen's Park Oval has provided for Test cricket over the years unfolded, West Indies tactics were baffling, intriguing and revealing.
